Everything around us changes constantly, trees grow; new products enter the market; and, children become adults. In a way we have conditioned ourselves to accept these types of changes because we view them as the natural order of life. When it comes to relationships turning sour or retrenchment, we struggle. What is it about these kinds of changes that are so hard to accept?

One of the major reasons is we pour so much of ourselves into relationships and jobs; we work at them daily and put in spiritual, physical and mental effort. We then expect to get our returns by things going the way we want them to, according to what we have put in. When they don’t, we feel cheated. Regardless of how we feel about any kind of change, it is inevitable so one of the ways to deal with it is to learn why we resist it.

Here are a few key areas that resist change:

• Your Thoughts – On average, we think about 60,000 thoughts a day; most of these thoughts are done at work because that’s where we spend most of our time. When at work, what do you think about the changes that may be taking place? What you think about influences your experience of the change. Choose to view the change positively and think of what advantages it may hold for you. If something is coming to an end, what new possibilities could await you?

• Your Feelings – How do you feel about the change? Are you excited; nervous; bitter; indifferent? Your feelings influence your thoughts and vice versa. Acknowledge how you feel and look behind the emotion. Are you nervous about losing your job because you don’t believe in your abilities to get another one? While change may seem unfair at the time, it is the precursor for something new to enter your life.

• Your Programming – The first 7 years of our life are spent absorbing information around us that in turn create our programming and belief system. When a relationship comes to an end we may blame ourselves and wallow in guilt because our programming tells us “good people don’t get left, therefore I must be bad because I have been left” Close introspection is required to see what part of our programming we need to let go of because its working against us.

• Your Environment – Who and what we surround ourselves with influences us greatly. Our environment should be aligned (as far as possible) to what it is we want to achieve.  In the example of job loss, surrounding yourself with people that are constantly complaining about how expensive life is and how hard it is to get work will hardly inspire you in your search for a new job.

We may not always be able to control what changes happen to us, what we can control is how we react.  Harness your thoughts, feelings, programming and environment so that they work for you not against you.